In most societies nowadays, we have grown accustomed to the idea that pain is negative and must be avoided at all costs. Whether this is physical pain, emotional pain or deeply rooted pain that feels so intensely dark that we seem to be blind where this pain originates from, we have learned to treat pain as our enemy. It usually begins in early childhood, where we are taught to toughen up, move on, or apologize to others even when we feel we were wronged. We grew up learning to push away these darker emotions. We told ourselves that we have moved on but have we really? Did anyone teach us how to understand these emotions first, heal the wounds and then move on, forgive others and forgive ourselves, or was this step left out and we just piled pleasant feelings on top of confusion and pain?
A lot of people grow up with the mindset that life is stagnant. You either feel great or you feel lost and alone. If you live life this way there is no room for any movement or evolution. It feels competitive. It is a competition against yourself, a competition against life. You want to be the winner who feels great and accelerates. You never want to drop the ball and sink to the bottom where you feel like giving up and where you are drenched with fear, depression, loneliness and anger. Everyone wants to feel loved and accepted. So when you feel there are only two stagnant worlds of either feeling good or bad, there is no question where everyone wants to be. Just look at social media and what people are posting about. We want to show the world that we are feeling good and that we are therefore the winners of this game called life.
I would like to offer you a different perspective. It is an invitation to explore our journey here on Earth with room to move, with freedom to pause, and for acceptance, yes even appreciation for what is. Life is never stagnant. Life is always changing and in motion. We are part of all that is and therefore, our purpose is to move and let life flow through us. When I say move, I do not mean it in a time linear motion of moving forward. I am talking about movement as part of a dance. This is the dance of the Universe, the Source of all creation. When you think of a dance, every motion, every breath, every kind of expression has purpose. In order to appreciate the dance as a whole, you must see the dance in its entirety and go on a journey with everyone being part of the dance.
In most societies, we are not accepting the existence of pain. We are afraid to face it in ourselves and we feel uncomfortable seeing others go through it. We find remedies to overshadow the pain, whether it be medication, addictions, distractions, isolation or other ways to create distance in the hope it will be the bridge to find the happiness and peace we so desperately seek. This is when we are thinking of life as being static and rigid instead of movement, growth and freedom of choice.
There are, however, a few isolated places where society is for the most part accepting of that pain. When we think of expression through art or when we think of the experience of childbirth, we have learned to accept, for the most part, that there is extreme pain involved and we allow it to be expressed.
We can even find comfort in hearing a musical composition that expresses the internal struggle we feel, as if we have found a secret friend who knows what we are going through.
We can relate to the visual art and we get to even appreciate our own pain through someone else. We feel safe enough to do so because we create space between ourselves and the artist yet still relate enough to be able to analyze and even critique.
Birthing a new life into this world is another unimaginable form of pain which at the same time blends with the contrasting feeling of hope, new beginnings, joy and love. It is one of the most diverse and contrasting emotional rollercoaster rides that stretches the limits of body, emotions, and our mind. We are pushed to what we think are our limits, only to discover that there are no limits. We can go further than what we thought we could achieve. We have accepted that in order to give birth there is pain. We have accepted this pain and we make conscious choices to accept this pain. We have also learned that this pain is only temporary and is part of a journey. Although the pain can take us to places where we never thought we could go, we also know that we will move through it and emerge like a butterfly out of a cocoon. Both mother and child are moving through this physical, emotional and soul journey together. We can accept it because we know that the pain shall pass and we are moving through it in order to find joy and love. Along the way, we have learned that there are tools to help us move through the pain of childbirth. A natural tool is the breath and the many different breathing techniques that are available to us. Even before labor, we can get training in how to breathe through pain.
We have accepted the pain and tool of breath for very limited situations and anything else beyond those situations we avoid and lock ourselves up inside our mind. We build walls around us to make sure we are sheltered from any more pain and to make sure nobody discovers the suffering we are experiencing.
I am inviting you today to see pain in a different light. What if pain isn’t the enemy at all but instead is the bridge to happiness? What if it is the key to that door we are seeking but are never brave enough to turn the key and look what is inside? Isn’t it time to begin a new journey together where we acknowledge each other, where we listen to each other, support each other and heal together? If we all learn to heal our own pain first, we are then ready to be there for others and see the beauty within all there is. So how do we begin to heal our own pain and suffering?
The answer is by making a choice as the first step. You need to decide for yourself that you are ready to heal and that you understand that in order to heal you are willing to sit with anything that is still blocking you from moving into your fullest potential. Your blocks might show up as triggers of pain, anger, intimidation, intolerance, fear or other lower vibrational energies. You must be willing to unlearn some of the lessons you have learned as a child and relearn new ways. Only then are you ready for the next step.
The next step is to allow your pain and triggers to rise to the surface. We have learned to push difficult feelings down deep and to turn away from them. In order to heal, you must allow them to show up for you, to surface and acknowledge their existence without shame. It is one of the most difficult things to do and that is why the majority of people who do this next step are souls who feel they have lost everything and have nothing else to lose. They are tired and done with the way things have been. They are ready for new beginnings. They have had enough of the old suffering and are ready to experience inner peace.
If you feel this is you and you are ready to move beyond your suffering, I want to guide you now how to do this in a very practical way. The best thing for now is to receive this message first so you have an understanding of the process like an overview. The real practice comes the next time you are experiencing your pain again. So let these words be the theory for now and then apply it whenever you are in your lower vibrating energies and need a lift out of it. It will help you to transmute your low vibrating energies into high vibrational energies and with repeated practices, you will begin to notice a shift within you. It is this internal shift inside of you that changes everything around you. You get to decide what frequency you would like to elevate your energies to and attract more of it in your life.
The next time you feel this heavy burden of pain, I would like you to first of all go to a quiet place where you can be yourself without anyone disturbing you. However, if you have a friend or a partner who understands your process, it can be even more helpful to have someone by your side to support you by simply being present. They can be here to listen, to hold you if you want that, or just keep you in their heart by sitting with you as you go through your process of healing. Then, allow your pain to come to the surface. In other words, feel the pain and allow yourself to feel it. Do not try to push it away. You have done this all of your life and it did not work or else you would not be reading this or listening to this right now. So for once, allow the pain to show up guilt free. If tears appear, allow them to roll down your cheek without wiping them away. Do not talk or do anything, just allow yourself to feel what is there. This might be the first time you allow yourself to feel the pain completely. Begin to view your pain as another part of you. Perhaps a younger version of you who got deeply hurt as a child. Move away from seeing pain as your enemy. Pain is always here to show us something we need to pay attention to. You might even want to talk to your pain. “Hello my pain. I can see and feel you now. I know you have been waiting for a long time for me to listen to you. I am ready to listen to you now. I am here to listen to and feel you. I am here to help and support you.” Allow your pain to be present like an old friend. Remember that your pain serves a purpose. It is here to serve you. Accept it, and allow it to be.
As you sit in this moment of pain, become very aware of your breathing. Use your breath as a tool. It is the same tool we use for childbirth. In another way, you are giving birth to a new you. Breath is life. Allow life to flow through you. Take deep, conscious breaths. Breathe all the way into your belly and let it out with a sigh or just through your mouth, however it feels right to you. Breathe some more. Keep breathing as you allow yourself to feel the pain. There is nothing else to do but to feel. Feel the pain and breathe through every new wave of pain that comes and goes. Whenever you feel it is getting intense, focus all of your attention on breathing deeply and with purpose. Breathe with the purpose to breathe through the pain and to then release the pain.
Keep going with this process of feeling, accepting and breathing until the stormy waters of the sea within you begin to calm down and become gentle and soothing waves. This might take some time the first time you do this. But the more times you practice this, you will notice that it will take you less time to breathe through these waves until one day you feel the pain has transformed into a higher elevated energy that serves you.
After each time you do this exercise, take some time at the end to express your appreciation and gratitude to your pain for showing you what you need to see. Give thanks to yourself for taking the time, for allowing yourself to heal and show up for yourself. List out as many things you are grateful for. When you let go of pain and immerse yourself in the vibration of gratitude, you are shifting and moving into higher frequencies and you see the world through a whole different perspective.
The breath is a way for us to turn inwards, to focus on what lies within our purest form of being. It brings us back to who we are when we feel lost. It is time for each one of us to begin this journey of self-healing and it begins with accepting what is there. We can learn this dance of life and begin to move and flow. We can move, pause, rest, and then move again. Life is constantly in motion and once we learn to flow with life we begin to truly enjoy our life because we have found our purpose. Find your purpose in this dance of life and then see how everyone and everything in your life is dancing to the same music.
