Is it possible to change an old program stored in our subconscious mind? How can we reach something that we are not even aware of having? In moments when the subconscious mind is in the driver seat, who are you in the backseat observing the whole situation?
Starting in our earliest childhood, we use our senses to experience and learn about ourselves and the world we live in. Based on what we see, feel, smell, taste, and hear, we begin to categorize what is confronting us through our own perspective. If something appears pleasant to us we categorize it as safe, good and desirable. We want more of that. On the other hand, if something threatens our safety, or appears unpleasant to us, we immediately categorize it as unsafe, dangerous, bad, and we try to avoid the same situation at all cause. It is a safety mechanism helping us to survive and make choices that seem more favorable. We see the world from OUR perspective based on our first experiences in life. In a way, through our senses we all live in our own made up world. We decide what is good or bad, what we want more of and what we would like to avoid. For example, a person growing up in a nurturing and stable home has a whole different perspective on relationships and safety than a child growing up in a disruptive and violent upbringing. Over the years, they may change and expand their perspective, but their first experience is already locked in deeply into their subconscious mind.
The subconscious mind stores all of our past experiences, and has locked up and categorized our memories based upon our first encounter with it. It is locked into a place based on our first perspective. We begin to live life based on the rules and programs we have created for ourselves. We decided what is safe and what is not. As we grow older, this way of living, of following repeated patterns becomes our habits, and our habits shape our characteristics. We are then becoming someone based on what our experience in the past has taught us. Whether we are aware of our habits or not, they play an important part of how we show up in the world. It is like getting into character in a movie or putting on our armor to protect ourselves from any potential harm we might encounter in our relationships, in our workplace, in our life. We walk around with a set idea of what is good and what is bad without truly experiencing new impressions for what they are. We live within our very own limitations we have set for ourselves.
Our subconscious mind is hard at work telling us what is acceptable and what we must avoid. Our reactions to any given situation are a direct indicator and a window to our subconscious mind carrying on for us.
Have you ever experienced yourself in an argument saying something that was “out of character” and later you were wondering where that came from? It comes from your subconscious mind in the driver seat. The question then is, if the subconscious mind is the driver seat in those moments, then who are you in the backseat observing the whole situation without much control in that moment? Think back of a moment when you experienced a moment where you reacted to something spontaneously and then later felt that this did not seem like you at all. In the moment while you were reacting, things just seemed to happen without much thought. Words poured out of you, for example, and later as you became aware of your actions you felt regret over what was said or done. In that moment of reflection, it is as if there are two of you. One, the observer, and the other one the actor of a play you have just witnessed.
We call both parts YOU and there are no excuses for our actions. However, it is important to recognize that when we feel out of control it is because our subconscious mind is navigating us as best as it can, following a program we have set many years ago. We do not consciously remember all the programs we have chosen but our sensory system has helped us navigate through the ups and downs in our lives by storing all our experiences as either desirable or undesirable. Most people speak and act from a place of their own past. The subconscious mind is in the driver seat, or if you refer to my previous two blog posts, the subconscious mind is the navigational guide on your mind map. It tells you where it is safe and what places you should avoid.
We need to remember that the subconscious mind is not our enemy and does not take things personally. It simply follows a set program. That program is stored deep within each of us. In my last two blog posts I have compared our mind to a treasure map and our programs from our past are hidden somewhere on our map. It might be called the secret forest or simply, the subconsciousness. We are not victims to this programming. We are not helpless, not able to control the direction we would like to pursue. Just the way we have set up a program in our earliest childhood, we can create new programs and even override our old programs. If we want to materialize our dream life and we feel stuck, we need to explore why. We need to find our place on our map and then change direction if we do not like the path we are going.
So how do you analyze something and direct something that is unconscious? How can you change from being a passenger of your subconscious mind to become the driver of your subconsciousness?
There are multiple ways to do this and in the next upcoming posts, we will explore some ideas. The first step is to simply become aware of what is happening. Awareness without judgment shows that you have become an observer and that you recognize the situation for what it is. Remember that when you let the subconscious mind run the show, in that moment, you are not aware of what you are really doing. You just act and later reflect and realize what just happened. The first step to reach your subconscious mind is to see it as it is even if there is nothing else you can do at that moment. This is enough for now.
Action Step:
Try it out for a week and see how things change for you. For one week, pay attention to all of your reactions as they happen in any situation. It is okay if you cannot react the way you wish to. Just become aware of when your subconscious mind is taking over. This might sound easier than done in the beginning and you might see it as very challenging, but it is possible with time and practice. It might start out as you not being aware and simply react right away to any given situation and then later, you realize what just happened. Is it really the way you wanted to act or express yourself? This reflection and realization is all that is needed in this first step. Even if the time being is delayed for now and you become the observer after the situation has occurred. The more you do this, you will find that the time between you reacting and you becoming aware of what just happened will begin to shorten. You will notice who is in the driver seat quicker and at some point, you will begin to realize what is happening as it is occurring, in that moment. You may not be able to control your reactions just yet but that is okay. For this action step, all you are challenged to try out is to become aware of your reactions. This can start out very simple. When you sit in traffic and you become angry or frustrated, when someone says something to you or acts towards you that makes you upset or uncomfortable, when you can’t seem to keep up with a deadline, when things do not go according to your plans. Whenever these things happen, begin to notice your thoughts, feelings and reactions. It is a great idea to journal these things and later reflect on them as you move forward on your journey. You might just find a pattern in there. A pattern that is the same, regardless of the situation. This would be a program you have discovered.
I am excited to be part of this journey with you and if you have any questions or comments, please feel free to leave them in either the comments section of this post or send me an email at info@karinmekara.com. I will respond to you as soon as I get a chance to.
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